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  • Home
  • About
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  • Writing
    • Travel >
      • European Vacation >
        • Thunder, lightning, 60% chance of rain.
        • Inside Iceland
        • Have it Norway
        • The Low Countries
        • Crossed Rheins
        • Alps to ales >
          • Manual transmission error
        • Back in the USSR
        • The Highlands
        • Balkanrama
        • Yugoslavia
        • The (Euro) Numbers
      • The Pacific >
        • Arigato Gozimasu
        • Oz ('Straya)
        • Blacktown Walkabout
        • Clichés for Days
        • Canberries
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        • Foray to the Malay
        • Drive-about
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      • The Nuclear Dilemma
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Clichés for Days​

The many Clichés of travel

6/27/2016

3 Comments

 
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This is going to be such a cool picture!
A cliché is an opinion or phrase that is overused or lacks originality (google told me), that being said, I will go further and say there are a few different subtypes of clichés. I will only be discussing one relevant type here: The Travel Cliché.

​I am qualified to make these definitions, because clichés are near and dear to my heart. I love them almost as much as I hate them. I find them an equally funny and frustrating part of life, they are my own personal yin yang.



​Travel clichés fall into the category, of what I will hereafter define, as “life event” clichés, which surround and resonate after significant life events.

High school, university graduation, engagements, marriages, births, big trips, careers… they all fall victim to the tired out cliché.

Boy do I love/hate travel clichés (TC). If you’ve ever traveled, or god forbid, KNOW someone who’s traveled, you’ve probably had opportunity to enjoy many of these little conversational treats yourself. 
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The eternal struggle between enjoying and despising the cliché.
But in this age of technology, TC are no longer confined to the limits human voice box. Facebook and photography have given birth to all new types, as well as morphed existing clichés into new and terrible forms.

Be it the "I'm at the beach, here's a picture of my legs", or "Hey here's a statue, and here's me interacting with the statue", the world is ripe with clichés for the picking.

So without further ado, my 9 most hated/loved TC.
Disclosure: I am guilty of most of these

1) Scenery photos with your back facing the camera

Todd: “hey, Jim, can you take my picture with this cool mountain in the background?”

Jim: “Yea for sure man! 1, 2, …--“

Todd: “WAIT! Wait a sec.” (Todd turns around) “What are you waiting for?! Take the picture!”

Jim: “But, Todd, you’re not looking at the camera.”

Todd “I know! That’s the point! Now everyone who sees this picture, will be like ‘wow, that was so beautiful, Todd couldn’t even stop looking at it long enough to take the picture’”

Jim: “Whoaaa, Todd, you are so wise.”
​
Todd certainly knew what he was doing.
​
If you want everyone to know how at peace with the universe you are, there’s no better way to do it than with a photo of you admiring something. For style points, contort yourself into some sort of yoga pose where the sun silhouettes your body. I mean, how else are you going to truly capture the grandeur and majesty of any spectacle?

2) The Country ____ has a way better system for ____

Traveling is a fantastic way to learn, maybe the best way to learn about different parts of the world and how they function. This is one of the reasons I love doing it.
​
But as with all new information, it broadens perspective. This new perspective can show you how amazing, or how backward your hometown really is. Have you ever had a friend come back from France go on about how much better their food is? How they can’t find anything fresh since they’ve come home? Well, this is because France REALLY cares about this type of thing, so relatively speaking, everywhere else just sucks.
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I don't even want be in the same ROOM as a baguette if it wasn't brought to me by a little French girl.


So yes, we get it. Other places do things better sometimes. Like public transit, the Arts, beer production, or providing parental leave. Please do go on and tell me all the ways you’ve noticed our hometown can improve its bread packaging…

3) Searching for that 'authentic' experience, be a local!

This is one of my favourites. I’m certainly guilty of it, and boy do I cringe when I hear it.

I went on a favela (large slum) tour when I was in Brazil, through a company who's slogan was “Don’t Be a Gringo, Be a Local!”. You know what Rio de Janeiro locals do NOT do? Go on tours of their slums. It actually sounds like I was deliberately trying to be a gringo in this case.
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No, I didn't see many locals in the tour of the favela.
With burgeoning tourism markets coming from developing countries, a terrific business idea was hatched. Convince tourists that they won’t be tourists at all, but in fact they will be like one of the locals, key word is “convince”. The reality is most tourists don’t want a local experience, because it would be either:

A) Boring or B) unsafe

But most importantly, it’s unsustainable from the tour operators point of view. 
Hat? Check. Poncho? Check. Authenticity? Dubious.
It seems the outfit is a common thread to a local experience.
​So what are company’s left to do, but to fake it? And that’s fine, it still leads to amazing memories and experiences. SO what if that Indigenous tribe is paid to take you hunting and feed you, does that mean that the time spent is any less enjoyable? I would argue no. However, that doesn’t give you exemption to drone on about how one-of-a-kind your experience was.

4) writing a travel blog

It was only a matter of time...

Little Joey Johnson is going away to Europe, but not before telling all his friends and family that he will be writing a really cool and unique blog! The blog will include tips on where all the best croissants in Paris are located, and pictures of Joey holding up the leaning tower of Pisa. Around 60% of the way through Joey’s trip, he will comment on how travel has broadened his horizons and opened his eyes to the beauty and awe that the world beholds.
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I only write for this blog when I'm in places like this, it's just better for creativity, ya know?


​All of this insight for only 5 weeks spent outside Joey’s hometown.

"Surely everyone in the world should experience this!", Joey remarks.

Guys I have a confession. In this previous written example, Michael Sime = Joey Johnson, and the blog is this blog.

5) Overvaluing your "worldliness"

One of the worst TCs, is when you’re on the receiving end of a conversation from someone who is particularly “well-traveled”, and they feel it is their god given duty to undermine all of your experiences, because they haven’t included travel. It’s as if regardless of details, travel trumps education, career development, or starting a family. If you’ve done anything else with your time and money, it’s been time and money ill spent in their eyes
.
I don’t know where this sense of superiority came from for many travelers, but I don’t like it. You don’t need to hop on a plane to Warsaw, and eat tuna straight from the can while sitting on a park bench to gain perspective, there’s millions of ways to gain perspective and many of them don’t include traveling.

6) Perpetual "one-upping"

People who are constantly one upping everyone are irritating. But when the one-up stories are from travel, they somehow manage to get even worse. Here’s classic example; Tom and Katherine are out for pizza one night, and Katherine remarks on how tasty the pizza is...

Katherine: “Boy, this pizza sure is good! I bet this is what it’s like in Italy!”

Tom: “No, it’s not even close to being like authentic Italian pizza. I once was in this little hole in the wall somewhere in Sicily. This old woman, who I think was in the mafia, invited me into her home for supper. She made the most wonderful Italian feast I’ve ever seen, complete with real homemade pizza. To this day it’s the best pizza I’ve ever had, I don’t even know why I get pizza anymore because nothing can ever come close to topping it! Did you get my pun? Topping it??!?!”

​Katherine: “Tom, this is why nobody likes you.”

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Don't even talk to me about pizza, unless it came from a building with stucco exterior.

7) Southeast Asia tattoo

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For when you have some core beliefs, but they just don't look good in English.


​This is a classic. Go to China? Vietnam? Thailand? Come back with a tattoo that says Courage, Virtue, or Destiny, in Mandarin, Vietnamese, or Thai.

Millions of people can’t be wrong, right? I’m half temped to get one, except I’ll make it say “lamb burger” or something. 

8) Spending a few days some where makes you an expert

Lindy and I were recently in a bar in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney. We met one of those types who loves to vocalize his discontent for home (Sydney) in favour of Europe, he said he’s lived all over Europe. Unprovoked, he begins to list the places he’s lived. He mentioned Edinburgh as one of them, a city Lindy and I really liked, so we asked how long he lived there for:

“Two weeks”
Two weeks is like 2-4 trips to the grocery store, potentially only ONE weekend, but this guy was talking like he was basically Scottish.

​People love to exaggerate their knowledge on a given subject, whether it’s over nighting in Prague and saying you've "seen all the good stuff” or spending two weeks in Scotland and saying you’ve lived there. Just try not to roll your eyes too much when you hear people talking like this.

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"Hey, did you know that I've lived all over Europe?"

9) That Traveler's Romance

Now I haven't had the pleasure of any romantic endeavours whilst travelling, but I certainly know many people who have. The flame burns as intense as it is breif, but for a lucky few, the hurdle is jumped and the romance blossoms into a relationship spanning international borders. I figured who better to write on the flowery subject, than someone who's gone the distance, my good friend Bailey McGinn. Take it away, Bailey...
"OMG, how did you guys MEET?!"​
Unlike most of my more exaggerated stories, I like to begin this one with the truth, it helps to minimize the damage from the barfy fairy tale-cliché aspect from the second half of the story. It keeps me real with the homies, you know? Truth be told, we met one very sloppy night at my favourite dingy Parisian bar.

Part one: Reality
My friends and I used to frequent the Saint George because it was close to work, and sometimes, the owner would dance around in assless chaps to perform some modest pyrotechnics.

Needless to say, I was not looking for prince charming, and guess what? I didn’t find him. Prince Charming is so vanilla. Instead I met a sexy French guy who works in IT, and has a habit of calling everyone Michel.  

​Our first night was a little lacking in romance-- another girl was hanging off of my fella, and I obviously was too cool for school to battle it out. 
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"Darling, this place is special to you and I...and all the other couples here."
I went to dance, so I shot a look his way that said  “shucks, you were cute but I’ve got a dance competition to win”. Somehow, while his clinger went to pee, we exchanged numbers. Classy stuff, eh?. I returned to the dance floor (where I was born) and he left for the night.

​Part two: Cliché
If you must know, we went to the hippest of cocktail lounges on our first date. A bearded man made me drinks based on my favourite tastes (vengeance and blood, it turns out). Later we took our half drank (drunk? drunken?) bottle of wine and hit the road, because in France that’s allowed – amen! 
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I assume it played out something like this.
The road, as it turns out lead us along quiet Parisian streets and down past the Louvre, abandoned at one in the morning, and over the Seine where we shared not only the end of the wine but our first kiss. I’ll wait while you go vomit.

Oh! And the moon shimmered on the water the whole time etc. etc. He claims it was all too easy to seduce a North American, and with that setting I can’t say that he’s wrong. Plus, he was a good kisser. 
Dating a French man has its challenges, but so does dating any other human. Mostly it’s annoying because he doesn’t get my Bill and Ted references.

​So what did we learn? All in all, clichés make for really great first dates but you have to be pretty committed to the person, or at least to French wine, if you’re going to stick around. Lucky for me I’ve got both going for me! 

Thanks, Bailey. What a lovely note to end on.

Now, some of you might be saying, “jeez Mike, lighten up!” but the reality is many of these TCs exist because they work.
​Those "authentic" experiences I was making fun of, are some of the most enjoyable activities I've been part of, I don't care if they were mildly contrived, they were a lot of fun.

I would do that favela tour or Japanese tea ceremony again in a heartbeat.​
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Ben was right, that was a bit of a boasty post. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN.
These “life event” clichés all have one thing in common; something meaningful has happened to the person who is talking. Whether it’s the best pizza they’ve ever had, a fantastic night sleeping under the stars in the desert, or the night they got engaged, these people obviously feel passionate enough to share their story with you. These are all very special times in someone's life.

​So next time you find yourself about to hear someone complain about how you can’t get a good lager outside of Munich, humour them at least a bit, they probably enjoy reliving the experience.

​​But then after the 6th time you’ve heard the story, politely tell them “dude, enough already”
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I tell ya, if you haven't watched a lighting storm on an island in Lake Titicaca...
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