I could have started a fight in an empty house...

William Wallace, Haggis, (scotch) Whisky. What’s not to love about Scotland? This was one of our favourite places and we’ll definitely return in the future.
Here’s your very brief history of Scotland:

• 13,000 to 9,000 years ago people built some huts and villages in Scotland.
• Scotsman James Watt (yes, as in Wattage) is often credited with starting the industrial revolution with his creation of the steam engine/turbine.
• In 2014 Scotland produced around 850 million litres of whisky, or the same amount of Guinness that was sold worldwide that year, or 340 Olympic swimming pools worth. Whichever you prefer.
• Last year, Scotland almost left the UK. 55% of the 85% voter turnout voted to remain in the UK.

​We started off Edinburgh with, what else? The free walking tour. Sabella, a Spanish native, gave a great rundown of the great looking city.

​In the old city centre you really get the feeling not too much has changed in the few hundred years. The city has an interesting mix of surprise bridges, tiny and numerous alleys, and many hikable hills.

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​We met my Uncle Ronnie and his Sandy Tours group that night, he was leading a group of New Scotlanders through Original Scotland and it was great to overlap for a bit.

We had a few whiskies at Sandi Belle’s later on, where I met an older gentleman who says he doesn’t drink whisky anymore. He inspired this blog title.

The most beautiful sounding restaurant in the English language.

​Just outside Edinburgh old town, you have Arthur’s seat, a huge hill that rises out of the city. It’s a great way to spend the afternoon as you’re rewarded with some expansive views from the top. As Norway Ben recommended, we nourished with Haggis afterward, and man was it good. I have no idea how haggis got a gross reputation, it’s like a more flavourful Shepard’s pie.

A side of me that passengers are seldom treated to ;)

​So the next day we get another rental car, still a manual transmission of course. This time, instead of trying to remember to fill the car with diesel, we’re trying to remember to drive on the left side of the road.

​This REALLY was a team effort, it is so easy to turn or drift into the wrong lane. Those first few days Lindy and I would constantly remind the driver (me) to stay on the left…. But it turned out fine. 

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​We drove through Falkirk to Stirling (shoutout to Age of Empires fans) to see Stirling castle, one of the largest and most prominent castles we’ve seen.

Stirling Castle has also seen its fair bit of action, which separates it from some of the other castles, which turned out to be largely troop garrisons and/or royal residences.

After Stirling we kept on to Glencoe, en route we were treated to some spectacular scenery; huge sharp hills jutting out from the landscape very similar to the final scenes in the movie Skyfall. 

There was a royally funded scientist who claimed he would fly to France in a wing suit he made, starting with a jump off this wall...He didn't make it to France, but lived to do more mad science.

From Stirling Castle looking over Stirling.

The next day we joined up with my uncle’s Sandy Tour group, and learned about the Clearances; a pretty terrible event which basically led to either the fleeing or destruction of the Gaelic people. Up to 25,000 people fled to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia (among other locations), my ancestors included. So in a strange way I kind of owe my existence to this event.

Scotland has a lot of history, it also has a lot of history buffs who are proud of their heritage. Foremost among these characters is the one-of-a-kind Ronnie Campbell. He was a guide for part of the tour leading everyone on and off the tour bus, up and down the hilly grave yard and even helping push a bus out of some mud. He is also 87 years old, quite the character.

The Sandy tour group lunch we were treated to had a surprise to go with the scones. A sampling of FIVE different, rare, and some very expensive whiskies. Since I was driving, I solemnly figured I could only at most sample two of the five whiskies. 

Unfortunately, Scotland has had a difficult history with alcohol, this has led to some of the toughest drinking and driving laws that I’ve heard of. If you blow ​any amount over the limit, you have your license immediately revoked for one year, fines of over $10,000 CAD, and potential jail time.

The limit is 0.022%, which basically translates to one half pint of beer. The bus driver on the tour appropriately and strongly warned me that having two of the samples would probably put me over the limit. I cried inside, and then moved on.

We drove by Loch Ness, it’s a nice lake, I didn’t see any monsters. If you go to Scotland, don’t make it a point of the trip to see Loch Ness, it’s a very nice lake, but that’s it!

We stayed two nights in Inverness, a nice little town. I developed a pretty bad fever one of these nights so I didn’t see too much of the town.
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I was dead set on getting some whisky tours in Scotland, we had already had one with the tour group at Ben Nevis distillery, but I wanted to see more. My spirits we’re pretty low on account of feeling so crappy from the fever, but after popping some pills I was starting to feel better! So onward with the whisky tours! 

If whisky is your thing, you’d be hard pressed to find a better place to spend some time than Aberlour. Aberlour sits on the river of the same name, and is in the heart of Speyside, home to the highest concentration of distilleries in the world.

Because this is kind of a classy area of Scotland, there is no cheap lodgings, so we had to break the bank at a fantastic place called the Dowan’s Hotel, a very welcoming and pretty place. That being said, we would definitely go back, hopefully with more money.

​We went on tours at Glenfidditch, Strathisla, and then had samples at Aberlour and Glenlivet. The history, tradition, and methods of whisky production were amazing to witness on these tours and experience through being in the region. 

​Chief among these Speyside experiences was a tour of the barrel making facility. No that’s not sarcasm.

Coopering is a trade that has seldom changed over the last hundred years, and it was a marvel to watch some of the world’s best coopers in their element making barrels, you really have to see it. 

There was a guy we met in Cologne named Robbie, he’s from Glasgow. Robbie kindly offered us to stay at his place if we found ourselves in the area, so naturally, we found ourselves in the area. 

We left Aberlour, overnighted in Perth at a fantastic AirBNB (beautiful accommodations, hospitable and interesting hosts who offered us wine and whisky) and headed on to Glasgow.

​After some minor navigational glitches which put us through a no-traffic zone of downtown, and subsequently into a high traffic zone of downtown, we arrived at Robbie’s place in Glasgow (we had no GPS capabilities in Scotland).

​Glasgow is, but more used to be, an industrial city. It has a strong ship building history from WW2, which led it to be a bombing target for the Nazis, leaving some heavy scars by the end of the war. Glasgow also was a “Yes” city, meaning it favoured separation from the UK in the recent referendum. Like all of Scotland, we really liked Glasgow, it is a very multicultural and large city, with a population close to 2 million.

The next two days consisted of a food and beer tour of Glasgow. Our gracious hosts led us around to some of the local watering holes whilst discussing everything the definition of being human, to the foreign concept of the Canadian “drunk tank”.

​On the opposite end of the spectrum from the fine whiskies Lindy and I had been trying, we also got to try Buckfast. What is Buckfast? Imagine Jaeger mixed with Red Bull, then mixed again with cough syrup and Great White, and a little bit of corn syrup sweetening for luck.

It is not a great drink, but you could say what it lacks in taste it makes up for in effectiveness. Apparently it has a pretty bad reputation in Scotland for starting fights, but after a glass of it we were ready to head to Balkanarama!

The cherry on the Glasgow visit was at Balkanarama. Because apparently Scotland really enjoys high energy, Balkan dance music.  It’s is basically a big dance party where they have live Balkan music being played, so we danced until the wee hours of the morning before heading home.

The next day we bid farewell to our hosts and headed to our last stint in Edinburgh, prior to flying into Milan en route to Slovenia.

Contrary to the blue collar, “yes” nature of Glasgow, Edinburgh is a predominantly financial and white collar “no” city.

​Due to Edinburgh’s strong banking and financial ties to London, it was in England’s and many Edinburghites best interest that no separation occurred. Due to these reasons and more, these two cities have a pretty intense rivalry.

Apparently it all started over bread quality.

For our second stint in Edinburgh (it’s so nice to come to a place where you already know your way around), we did a “dark side of Edinburgh” walking tour, and a pub crawl (crawl, not tour).

​Edinburgh, even compared to the rest of Europe, seems to have a pretty scary history. A few items on the list:

• Edinburgh (but also Scotland in general) had some of the most intense rounds of witch hunts in world history
• During the 1800’s, the local university wanted bodies to study for scientific purposes, but people didn’t want to donate their bodies to science. The university solved this problem by commissioning body snatchers to steal bodies from graveyards. This escalated to the point that people would even get murdered, purely to have their bodies sold to the university.
• Edinburgh's defensive wall’s weren’t that good at defending against military, but we’re great for keeping out smugglers and illegal trade tax dodgers. The reigning monarch decided to also charge taxes to anyone leaving the city walls as well, and because no residences were permitted outside the walls, and much of Edinburgh couldn’t afford the tax, this meant that many were born, lived, and died within the walls. 

Stationed right beside the site of the former main gates, the World's End for many unfortunate Scots.

I think this was the longest blog, but man was Scotland great. Put it on your list to rent a car and drive around Scotland. If you can afford it, drink whisky and hire a driver.
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That’s it! Homeward bound, so to speak. After a quick stop in Italy we’ll entering Slovenia tempormanently. Jobs? We’ll see. Sleeper hit of Europe? Definitely.

Slovenia has it all. Picturesque alpine lakes for starters.